(Forwarded by Robert L.)
Veterinarian's office:
We give
free kittens to all unattended children.
On a Plumbers truck:
We repair
what your husband fixed.
Pizza shop slogan:
7 days
without pizza makes one Weak.
At a Towing Company:
We don't charge
an arm and a leg. We want tows.
Billboard on the side of the road:
Keep your
eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
In a Nonsmoking Area:
If we see
smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
At an Optometrists Office:
If you
don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place.
On a Taxidermist's window:
We really
know our stuff.
In a Podiatrist's office:
Time
wounds all heels.
Outside a Muffler Shop:
No
appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming.
In a Veterinarians waiting room:
Be back
in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Inside a Bowling Alley:
Please be
quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.
In the front yard of a funeral home:
Drive
carefully, we'll wait.